"Power Play": When Certain Duty Gives Way for More Booty
11/13/2012 11:40:00 AM
Let me say this: I am not a sexist but a realist. And the real deal is some high power fellas have been losing their duty all for the booty!
Why do powerful figures, like former CIA head David Petraeus, have extramarital affairs and risk everything?Let's be clear: dude is not a Bradley Cooper nor a Brad Pitt. Real talk. This makes me conclude that power is attractive to some women. And power may be perceived differently. For some it may be big money while others have a fetish for a powerful, confident personality or simply a lover in a uniform. But in the high-profile cheating scandals, why is power so attractive? Why do we have the Monica Lewinskys and the Rielle Hunters, and all of those women who had an affairs with Tiger Woods? Last year, Michigan Gov. Jennifer Granholm weighed in on political sex scandals specifically, stating, "Women in power just maybe aren’t as attractive to men, but I can tell you that the opportunities aren’t there and perhaps a lot of the instincts aren’t there." While power may be irresistible to some, the men have to know what they risk.
Lylah Alphonse weighed in for an article, “Men in Power: Why Do Women Have Affairs with Men like Petreaus?” She quotes a doctor who says, “Like the 'tall, dark, and handsome' cliche, some women are attracted to men who possess the three qualities of wealth, celebrity, and influence." Could be true. The doc, Dr. Terri Orbuch, director of a 25-year-long study on marriage and divorce, also said, "From a purely biological perspective, for females success implies that the male will be a good provider and offer security. Of course, this makes little sense in the case of a married man, but it is nevertheless part of the underlying, unconscious appeal such men have to women."
Another thing? Emotional need may also play a role. In his autobiography, Clinton said that cheated on his wife with Lewinsky "just because I could," but Lewinsky has said that she wasn't simply attracted to the former President. "I fell in love," she told a grand jury in 1998. "We spent hours on the phone talking. It was emotional.” (insert eye roll.) However, Rielle Hunter nabbed presidential hopeful John Edwards' interest by telling him, "You're hot!," but after the affair was over she told CNN's Pierce Morgan that it was about love, not sex. So what's love got to do with it? Nothing in some cases. Obviously, Rielle liked the power John-boy exuded. And we don't have enough time to go into the Tiger Woods saga! But even former NY Knick Stephon Marbury is being sued by his former personal chef for falling behind on his hush money payments. Thurayyah Mitchell was hired by Stephon as his family's personal chef in January 2006 and after a brief affair, Stephon agreed to pay Thurayyah $900,000 to keep her mouth shut! So why do men in public professions or positions of power do things like this?
The article continued, saying,there's a biological component as well, which is why men get careless and women don't care! “While a person can't "fall in love" at will to justify anything, Orbuch told Yahoo! Shine, "Levels of dopamine, norepinephrine, testosterone, phenylethylamine (PEA), and serotonin spike in the brain when we are experiencing romantic love. It's a potent cascade of love chemicals that influence our mood, rationality, and responses. In other words, when a woman has a mad crush on a man, she's probably not thinking too clearly. She's not thinking about the consequences -- nor is he," Orbuch continued. "Once they've been bitten by the lust bug, they are like a fast-moving locomotive. A train wreck may be ahead (usually is), but they can't see it, or they choose not to." That explains a lot!
But back to the fellas. Men in positions of power have plenty of opportunities to stray, and men in high-risk jobs -- like politics and the military -- may crave the adrenaline rush that comes with a new conquest. There are also plenty of opportunities for them to be unfaithful to their mates. "The most common reason for an affair is high opportunity," psychologist Barry McCarthy told Psychology Today. "People fall into affairs rather than plan them."
But a 2011 study suggests that there's more to Petraeus' affair than that. According to researchers, both men and women in positions of power are more likely to think that societal rules don't apply to them -- even if their power is temporary. While most everyday women may not meet a high profile politician, other careers fall culprit to “power fixations” or fantasies athletes, other men in uniform – including blue collar hotties, and others may give off confidence, security or fulfill a fantasy too. (Sidebar: my girl had a thing for postal workers). Case in point, AshleyMadison.com, a dating site for cheaters, had a survey which revealed the most "adulterous professions" for men are doctors and police officers. For women, it's teachers and stay-at-home moms.
So does power or profession play a role in straying? Perhaps. But regardless, you may gain momentary thrills of cheating but the aftermath never is worth it.