Are You Being Played This Holiday?
12/21/2012 12:26:00 PM
I remember dating someone who some how got sick, was out of town or picked a fight around the holidays. Since I was young and dumb, that meant I was slow to figure out perhaps I was the “other” instead of the “one” in his life. When the light bulb came on it was time to say, “Kick rocks!”
That was long ago and not a serious relationship. Hallelujah! But what happens when you are in a serious relationship and they stray? Especially during the holidays? I found out that the holiday affair is becoming an unwelcome tradition. According to Kristen Houghton of More.com, formal holidays seem to be the time of the year when being unfaithful occurs more often. It is a vulnerable time for many couples especially if the holidays are less than warm and welcoming or their partnership is on rocky ground
A 2008 study from Bowdoin University on holiday depression says that 56% of men and 42% of women will cheat on their partners during the holiday season. The study also goes on to say that once the holidays end so do the affairs. Most partners never even know their significant other has strayed. And one sign? No holiday loving! If your spouse is withdrawing from sex and coming up with excuses not to be intimate, it’s a good chance that someone else is fulfilling their needs when you two aren’t together.
But what if you are the victim? You don’t know you’re the “Joy to the World Jump Off”? Unfortunately, the holiday season is also when some people are on the other end and discover they aren’t in a monogamous relationship. Not the mate scorned but the unknowing side piece. eHarmony staff cite boredom mis-treatment, under-appreciation and simple unhappiness as why some stray during this time of the year. Well, Rolling Out magazine gives a few signs on how to tell if you’re the one they creep to. Here’s my faves on the list:
Your significant other doesn’t want to spend Christmas day or night with you
You believe that you are in a relationship, but your significant other doesn’t want to spend the holiday season with you? He or she comes up with several excuses and you end up being alone on Christmas night.
You receive a “Merry Christmas” text, but no call
On Christmas day, your significant other sends a simple “Merry Christmas” text without a follow up text or call. He or she keeps it short and simple on a day when you should be with the people or person you love the most.
Your significant other only spends a short time with you on Christmas day
He or she has stopped by for a visit, but they can’t stay long. They make a 15-20 minute stop and they claim they must leave to visit a family member without inviting you. Your significant other could be visiting their other lover, or you just might not be important enough to meet the family.
You receive your Christmas gift days after Christmas
You haven’t seen your significant other on Christmas, but he or she attempts to make it up by giving you a gift days after Dec. 25.
Can I add my own? They pick a fight before the holiday.
I know this is the season for giving but if someone is only giving you piece of them there’s a chance someone else is getting the rest. Determine how do you want to end your holiday and start the new year. Sometimes, that may mean going solo.