Can Bad Credit Wreak Havoc on Romance?
1/2/2013 12:15:00 PM
So you dating not to have fun but for a long re-term relationship, right? Many issues comes up: sex, kids, religion and the “m” word – money. But you think most people wait until they get serious to bring up spending habits, debt and credit scores, right?
Credit is becoming a bigger factor in dating decisions according to interviews with more than 50 daters across the country, all under the age of 40. According to The New York Times, this question is popping up more and more in the dating scene. One of the subjects interviewed for the article said a date once told her she was “the perfect girl for him, but that a low credit score was his deal-breaker.”
Do you know what your credit score is? Most often credit scoring is used when someone tries to buy a house or to get a bank loan for start up money, as we reported. But now, it’s also an issue in romantic situations. “It’s so widely used that it has also become a bigger factor in dating decisions, sometimes eclipsing more traditional priorities like a good job, shared interests and physical chemistry. That’s according to interviews with more than 50 daters across the country, all under the age of 40,” reports the Times.
There are even a few online dating websites that cater specifically to singles looking for a partner with a great credit score, such as Datemycreditscore.com and Creditscoredating.com. The sites let you check out the credit scores of potential dates before you actually go out. I mean really? Of course if you get serious, bad credit can impact your relationship. A low score and bad debt could become an issue, if say, you want to buy a house together. While good scores start at 700 and above, will a 500 keep you from finding love?
Eharmony tackles the issue of when do you bring debt into a relationship:
A relationship in its early stages: If you’re on a first date , there’s absolutely no reason to say something like, “Did you know I have a Roth IRA worth $51,000?” Likewise, you’re not required to confess, at the beginning of a relationship, that the amount you owe on your school loans rivals the GNP of certain small countries. In other words, there’s definitely such a thing as telling someone too soon exactly what your net worth (or lack thereof) is. One reason this can cause problems is that finances can so easily overshadow more substantive issues. In other words, a person who has just met you might be scared off by some financial debt; but after the person has gotten a chance to see the real you and to see the many positive characteristics you bring to the table, he or she will be better able to view your financial situation as only one part of the picture, rather than the whole thing. So keep in mind that there’s no reason to rush. When you’re getting to know someone, debts and assets don’t have to come up right off the bat.
A relationship in its middle phase: Early on, your financial situation is nobody else’s business. But as you get more serious with someone, it begins to become that person’s business. And you definitely don’t want the other person feeling that you’re hiding something or that you haven’t been honest. So if you feel that you two are reaching that point where you’d have concerns if the situation were reversed, then maybe it’s time to talk. Perhaps the biggest question to ask yourself is how much you trust the other person. If you can’t trust the person, rather, you just don’t trust him or her enough yet, then it’s probably not time to get into specific details. If, on the other hand, the trust between you is strong, then now might be a good time to be more forthcoming.
A relationship that’s gotten serious: Just as you can divulge your financial situation too early, it’s also possible to wait too long. You don’t want to become engaged to someone before letting your partner know that you’ve accumulated some sort of outrageous debt. So the borderline between when a relationship is in its middle phase and when it’s gotten serious is an important one. Financial details will come out eventually, so don’t wait too long to discuss your current situation. The last thing you want, especially in a relationship that’s becoming more serious and solid, is to make the other person feel misled or that you’ve been holding back important information.
Look, we fall in love and that's great but money can wreak havoc in a relationship. Decide right away what you can or are willing to handle. If it's less than your desired status, don't hold your mate hostage to their finances I fyou decide to give it a hot. When you make a decision for the two to become one, that includes money, debt and yes...bad credit. Research how to improve credit and find a financial plan to erase debt. It takes work but anything worth keeping takes work.
But are you willing to do it? If not, you risk missing out but if you know you just can't deal, wait it out. But caution: there is no perfect mate,even if their credit score is.