Get Over It! Your Health Depends On It
3/22/2013 11:38:00 AM
This may sound harsh, but when someone says, "Get over it!" YOU SHOULD! Your health may depend on it. Dwelling on a stressful event may increase inflammation levels in the body, according to research from Ohio University. Chronic inflammation has been linked to a number of diseases, including cardiovascular disease, diabetes, dementia, and depression.
Easier said than done.
I remember being so angry about a wrong done to me I actually had to go to the doctor because I couldn’t figure out why I was havign heart palpitations! When I look back, it was not good for me to mull over the incident to the point of my health. But it’s natural when you're hurt by something or someone, you become angry, sad or confused. Your anger may be justified, but you can’t dwell on it. If you dwell on hurtful events or situations, resentment, vengeance and hostility can take root. If you allow negative feelings to takeover, you eventually are swallowed up by your own bitterness and/or sense of injustice. I know for myself. I can think –operative word “think” – I am over an offense or stressful event and my hurt rears its ugly little head! Sometimes, something else will happen and it triggers the pain as if it just happened. Of course as a Christian, I know I am supposed to pray. And I do. Unfortunately, sometimes my feelings override my faith. I hate to admit that but I often return to the throne to ask God to help me one mo’again!
But faith without works is dead. And when it comes to getting over “stuff”, a lot of it involves other people. While they have moved on and ain’t thinking about you, your hurt hinders your emotional well-being. Of course the right thing to do is to forgive. And forgiveness is not a feeling. It is a concise decision to release someone from the offense they did. Now, you can’t forgive them without them accepting their responsibility and apologizing. But you can drop it – on your end. According to the Mayo Clinic, forgiveness can lead to healthier relationships, greater spiritual and psychological well-being, less anxiety, stress and hostility, lower blood pressure and fewer symptoms of depression.
Obviously we all can know forgiveness can be beneficial but how do we put feet to it? In the “Bounce Back Book”, the author gives 8 strategies on how to put it into action. Some suggestions she gives to Oprah’s site –“Juleeized” by me - include:
Say a Prayer Whenever They Pop in Your Mind. Pray for this person to find their way back to a happier place.
Focus on Gratitude. Resist seeking happiness from the outside in. Instead, focus on gratitude exercises to bring happiness from the inside out. If you allow your self-image to be at the mercy of unpredictable events and unreliable people, your happiness will be forever on a chaotic roller coaster ride! When you are tempted to focus on all the ways the world has done you wrong, instead count your blessings by making a list of the five aspects of your life that you appreciate. It is good practice to purposefully end your day this way to keep focused.
Look for the Lesson. If you feel particularly tested right now, ask yourself what the heck you're being tested for! Patience? Compassion? Resilience? Forgiveness? Open-mindedness? What strengths must you develop further? Now consciously go out there and develop them!
Maintain Perspective. If you're going through a challenging time, remind yourself that this specific event is merely a part of your life—not your "whole" life. Consciously keep this "slice of life" perspective, and don't let the event overwhelm you.
Learn the Lesson. Develop a "student not victim" mentality. Vow not only to disentangle yourself from emotionally harmful situations, but also to consciously avoid similar situations in the future.
Let Go of Resentment. Recognize that when you resent someone, you are not only hurting yourself, you're also giving this person control of your emotions—and you don't want that!
Stay Centered. Recognize that when you respond with hate to hate, anger to anger, bitterness to bitterness, you are ironically becoming part of the problem.
Get Revenge Positively. The best kind of revenge is living a successful, happy life.
Don’t get it twisted. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you will restore the relationship to where it was before. In fact, some relationships are meant to be severed. It doesn’t mean you are enemies but sometimes reconciliation is partial – you accept responsibility, talk over any wrongs, apologize and move on. To keep your peace of mind, forgive. When it’s right reconcile. If not, forgive, let go and live. Don’t let hurt steal your joy.